Embarrassed!

Sometimes I am too optimistic of happiness that reality checks would smack right at my face.

Sometimes I expect people to understand my good intentions at face value.

Sometimes I am just plain STUPID.

I had just made a total fool of myself.

My Father

1. Does your father has three wives?
2. Does your father drive 240km/h when you are in the car with him?
3. Does your father let you drive his M6 at 180km/h?
4. Does your father buy you a Mini Cooper when you were 21?
5. Does your father let you be his co-driver on the Sepang Circuit?
6. Does your father treat you and each of your siblings at Victoria Station every birthday?
7. Does your father give you free hugs and kisses in public?
8. Does your father let you invite your boyfriend on family holidays?
9. Does your father pay for the hotel bill for your celebration of a dear friend's bachelorette night?
10. Does your father listen to you like a friend and can accept your criticisms constructively?

My father is all of the above, and as much as I can be angry towards him at times, I appreciate the unique traits that he has. He is a very cool, kind-hearted, generous, lovable, and helpful guy you will ever meet.

For this, I truly hate those people who have lied to him, those who have taken advantage of his generosity by embezzling his money, adding worries to his very much complicated life. I know exactly who you are, how can you do this to a guy who has trusted you?

I feel like naming the names of the three of you just to make you feel ashamed of yourselves when you google your name, but I know my father would not even consider doing it even if it was the only solution.

Abah, I love you so much. I hope everything will be ok.

Vanity

I have BIG and MESSY hair. Considering chopping them off. The only reason that has been restraining me is dance routine, where I would actually like my hair flippin here and there.

My current mood is like the rain pouring outside. I feel gloomy but very comfortable in my bed. I think I just want to continue to hide under the blankets to escape from all the assignments and presentations falling due next week.

The only things that are keeping me sane and feel very much a living human being, and not a skeleton of an aspiring accountant, are his calls and dance practice for graduation dinner.

Nice.

Weekendless Fun

• So many words, so little time. Gasping for time to write. I can feel words having a massive traffic jam in my head. Have to have to have to find time to get rid of the bottleneck!

• 3 weekends filled with Finishing School Programme. Although very tiring, I'm thankful to my amazing faculty for organising this 2 saturdays 2 sundays programme. Syukur sangat2 because I get to submit my resume with little effort of applying for the companies separately, mainly because our syllabus just don't let us have the time for it. They come to us at one time, instead of us finding time to go to them individually! So far, resumes have been submitted to Deloitte, KPMG, Ernst and Young, and Petronas, and alhamdulillah, I have been shortlisted for all. Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah. =)))

• So for the 3rd weekend with academic activity, I was responsible to be the emcee for this "MIA President as the VIP" seminar. Not to brag but to just show how intimidating it was PRIOR to the seminar, until the minute the president and I had to talk privately to re-confirm his background profile, he turned out to be a laid-back guy, so phewhh... But being an emcee for half a day is no joke, it was tiring, and minor glitches add to the jitters, no doubt. It had been long since I have to speak in front of a big audience FORMALLY, so yea, it brings back good memories too.

• Lastly, no weekends mean no time to catch up on studies, assignment and personal life. Unfortunately, being quite a socially-inclined person, the correct order would be personal life --> assignments --> studying. Hehe. I would squeeze time for fun BEFORE heading to the books. So my only weekend day yesterday was spent outside. Thank God the world is still fun. Haha. I went jogging with him in my bid to burn the double-chin and extra belly fat, and although I was embarassed for only covering a quarter of the track (damn you stamina), we had good Coffee Bean session, taking pictures with our new laptops (webcams), and just enjoying the weekend morning. It felt like a short holiday - the jogging, the frapucinno and caesar salad, newspaper-reading, being in each other's company, laughing. I have never felt like this before with a guy. I have never felt this safe (OOOhhhh..happy tears are coming..). He might be THE ONE. I hope he is the one. All fate lies in Allah's powers, but when it is right, it feels right. =)
  
• After, we went for banana leave rice (So much for jogging, but i ate a little, like really sikit! yeay!) and later in the afternoon wanted to watch the Hot Air Balloon show but ended up under one umbrella under the heavy rain. All was good..for some reason. Everything felt good. For dinner, he wanted me to meet his friends, but arrived too late that the friends have all gone back..haha. Thank God TGIF was still open, so it was just him, me, and ManUtd v. Liverpool game. No worries, no regrets. Slept at 1 am.
  

• So today, I am skipping all 2 classes to finish my assignment and to find time to do the Petronas online maths, IQ, and EQ tests..huhuhu.. when I could have just finished yesterday, but being me, I think being out and about after 3 weeks of no weekends, was all WORTH IT. Oh, and it is my first day of menses today. I was surprised because I didn't have any PMSs before today. Could that be a sign that I am super duper happy?? Hehehehehe...Alhamdulillah. Phewwhh..there I let it out. =) Back to WORK!!

Facebook

Beyond the conventional advantages of Facebook, such as as a comprehensive social networking medium, I have found it very advantagous when stalking people to:

• not be complacent about our own bodies. Sometimes when we don't look at other people, our eating habits tend to run wild. We will satisfy every temptation on food because we only see our own bodies. Yes, we are surrounded with people, but we don't tend to compare ourselves with friends while engaging in daily routines in that sense, at least not me. So when we're alone in our room with time to kill and thus explaining the stalking on Facebook , we see people, including our own friends, post prettily and stylishly in pictures, and we will realise, Gosh! we're fat and unattractive, hence compelling us to do something about it.

• This is vanity, self-indulgent, and maybe ungrateful, but it is what I feel. I can be slimmer. You can be slimmer. Being slim does not necessarily makes us pretty but it is the enhanced self-confidence from being slim that makes us feel PRETTY. =D So no more rice for me, at least not for a month!

Where did my tank go?

I have strong inclination to write, now at this moment. There is so much in my head, so many thoughts have passed where I would say "Ok, i will write about this later when I have the time", but now when I do have the time, I am just an empty pipe. =((

WHERE DID MY TANK GO?