Thistle Hotel Port Dickson

This hotel can be dubbed the jewel of Port Dickson. Located at a more remote part of the coast, it has made me see PD in a different light. You can actually see the blueness of the waters thicken as the water depth rises; sign that there is less polution here than in Telok Kemang. True to its name, Thistle country, its landscapes and amenities are sleek and breathtaking. I mostly love the idea of the night spot (for adults only) called Cumulus, situated by the beach and complete with an adult pool & lazy day beds, where the evening breeze and sound of the live band swept my worries away. Coupled with a ride on a 4-stroke jetski, it was a truely pleasant weekend getaway...

Infidelity

• In the midst of the media scrambling through Tiger Woods' skeletons in the closet, I feel slightly sorry for him. Though I am perplexed to see and read the unravelling dirty secrets of such a graceful icon, his infidelity screams nothing but incompleteness and lack of happiness. Even with a trophy wife like Elin Nordegren, a man could resort to less than half of her beauty to cover the holes that are not on the golfcourse, but in his heart. Though what is incomplete will remain a question by us the onlookers, judging from my personal experience with my own family, I know that a guy always needs a compatible companion. As independent and matured a guy can be, they NEED a woman to be their partner, both physically and emotionally, all the time. Once his woman stop being compatible, they start looking elsewhere. Unfortunately, for some of them, their egos deter them from saying it out loud to their partners until we, women realise that the men in our lives have taken a step too far. This is especially true with "men who made bank" because affordable sultrous alternatives are available with a flash of the bill. When they can't find it in their wives, there are plenty more out there right. Who knows, maybe it is not all about the physicals, maybe a man like Tiger Woods just wanted someone whom he can have conversations with.

• Forgive me if I am wrong, but I think a guy needs his wife to still be a girlfriend, not just a woman taking care of his household. Being a girlfriend means to still be attractive and approachable. She has to like his hobbies and interests, and help him polish his abilities. Feed the boy inside him. She cannot be a critic, but a source of support. She has to be his bestfriend, a person he can talk to about his insecurities and problems, whatever they may be. She needs to be a great 'mistress', one who can tempt him, surprise him, and most of all, pamper him. Because from what I notice, women start taking all or some of these for granted in the presence of children or in the chase of their own careers.

• It is all hormonal and psychological for a guy. As for us women, it is hard work, and I guess suppressing at times, but we could at least try. After all, it will eventually work both ways - many ways actually - we need a loyal partner and children need their fathers to be good role models in their process of growing up, so we are the crew behind the scenes to psychologically teach the men to grow up...TOO. =P

Thinking mode

• I'm overwhelmed with my own thoughts.

• I wish to do a lot of things at once but I'm no superwoman. There is the worry about my overweight siblings whom I'm dying to get them to go jogging with me. Their addiction to video game and computers are overpowering my power of persuasion. I know scolding them won't work; I need to win them psychologically but I'm clueless.

• There is my father's wide-range of small businesses which are in need of little more attention - I'm going to start my improvement plan with one of it, but with many other personal plans before the semester starts, will it persist?

• There is the home decor project of our new home which has been constantly being put on hold due to financial reasons - my expensive tastes is not helping anyone nor do my meticulousness! Money is flowing out like bursting water pipes because of me!

• There is the upcoming vacation which everyone has been expecting me to plan but have yet to give me final confirmation on participation (Izzy I'm still hoping you can go!)
  

• Then there is the worry about the guy in my life now, we fight and I find myself letting him take charge of the relationship - I am no longer the dominant one and I feel suppressed sometimes because dominance has always been my trait. He's protective and positive, while I am always the one who gives up easily. The worry that our soon to be long distance relationship will make me drift away because I just don't believe in long distance relationship anymore. As always, he thinks we can pull through because he's just so positive and self-convincing! Then again, I'm the happiest person after him for the opportunity to further his studies. Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah my prayers for his studies were answered but it means we're going to be apart and the last time that happened to me and a guy, it didn't turn out well.

Oh no.. I'm feeling more overwhelmed now. =/

Ellynna's first blog post

i love my family.. my family are important to me..my sister always take me to the movies..my father, always work hard... my mother,will always be there for me....my brothers,always teach me anything that i dont know..and my cats....they dont do anything...but,they are cute like a strawberry....

My cute little sister was beside me when I was just about to write a post. I asked her to write instead. =D She is 8 years old. =)

Words of wisdom

"I wish for less anger in society. People seem to hate easily; there's a lot of negativity around. It's easy to be influenced by the people around us, so my advice is: if you can't beat them, leave them. Surround yourselves with positive people who will help you grow, not drag you down."

Words of Datin Paduka Sharifah Mazlina, first Asian solo woman explorer to the South Pole.

Another disclaimer

Don't mistake silence for fear

Dont mistake silence for guilt

Don't mistake silence for consent

But most of all, don't mistake silence for forgiveness.

• Just because you think Diyana ni pemaaf, you can get away with what you have DONE. Just because you are hurt, it justifies anything you do and tell. I have been silent because I understand your anger and I am in the wrong by hurting u. I was and still am sorry. But enough is enough, this time forgiveness is not an option. You have gone way out of line, but I hope you're satisfied.

• And to this other person involved, stop manipulating with words about what you have heard. There is no such thing as "Diyana told kawan Hilmi" when I've never even sat with them to talk about her. It is so sad that you have so many friends yet you talk bad about most of them behind their backs. Names can be named, but you and your good conscience know who you have talked about. Not one, not two, not even three, but more. You are lucky they're still friends with you.

Disclaimer

It's disheartening to know that there are people (possibly just one person) who think I'm blogging or posting status on FB with the pretentious intention to merely portray that I am happy. My intention has never been but to appreciate the good things in my life. It was my therapy for a new beginning, and now it is becoming a hobby.

I have been very transparent on FB as well as here. My life has been a rollercoaster ride, some poeple know that. So whether I'm happy or otherwise, I would reflect that in my posts and status. Why would I want to put on a happy show for others to read? This is my actual life you are judging about. If it is a show, I am glad if you are entertained.

I hope I made myself clear.

Moi Cheveux

I wanna grow my hair to this length when I look at this picture, and part it and highlight it the same exact way she did. Oh Miss Determination, please stay with me.

Empty

One day of medical leave has already got me feeling bored at home. My abdoment really hurts, hurts that I don't have the will to drive anywhere, so I'm basically stuck on my own bed with this laptop on my attention-craving tummy.

It makes me wonder how Opah can just stay at home without going out for weeks. It would drive me insane of boredom. I need my routine..

Yours truly,
Routine-Freak

Dream on Diyana

A short trip to Pangkor has got me to thinking. I am 22 years old and I have my future planned ahead of me. I am an aspiring accountant, ever since Accounting was the extra subject I took on top of Pure Science subjects in secondary school. In uni, it later evolved to working with one of the big 4 accounting firms, of which during my practical semester, Pricewaterhouse Coopers has become my choice out of the big 4. I hold on to the fact that being a practicing accountant gives one the invaluable working experience to fast-track salary upgrades commercially.


However, after exploring my self-interest even further, I have realised that being an accountant is only part of another plan; a quest to reach my financial freedom. It is all about the money. It has always been about the money, about buying the BMW M3 and those Gucci bags with my own earnings.

But what happens after? What happens if I give up along the way? What happens to my real-interest?

I dream to live by the beach. I dream of waking up smelling the ocean and feeling its breeze sweeping over my face. I love the feeling of sand underneath my feet and resting on a hammock with palm trees shadowing over me, and feeding my eyes with the azure waters of the ocean. If i own a jetski, I would just take-off towards the horizon whenever I feel like speeding. Man..I can go on and on and on about the beach.

Being close to the ocean makes me feel at peace with myself, as when I am close to the nature, I feel like the fast-paced life is not so important anymore, that there is more beauty and wonders that God has layed before us, for us to be close to ourselves and to Him. .for the short period of time we have in this "world". Gucci bags certainly won't give me this feeling. =P

So perhaps, like Uncle Shaari (Aunty Aishah, Melissa, and Munir), I would like to have a resort of my own, so I can have a reason to be by the beach all the time, and still earns a good living, insyaAllah. At least I will be loving what I do. It is not as simple as I would like it to be, but every success starts with a dream. Right? This is rightfully mine.

The picture at the top are the 2 generations. Us with Melissa and Munir, while our parents with their parents, Uncle Shaari and Aunty Aishah. Together as a family, they own and run Anjungan Beach Resort, which has received good ratings so far. The resort is ranked no. 2 in Pangkor. The picture below is their resort, with the sampan shaped pool with jacuzzi and the lovely Aunty Aishah.

Hope to come back soon.. =)

Modjo Upgrading Project (Part 1)

• The above 17 inch OZ Racing Ultraleggera rim has just made it to my Top Priority To-Get List! Abah, please let me have a set of 4 of this for Modjo. Maddox, don't be jealous, you're already naturally good-looking.
  

• Modjo = my Neo
• Maddox = my Mini

Hopeful

• I'm giving us a chance, after all that we have been through, I think this relationship deserves a chance.
• If it is meant to be, it is meant to be. If it is not, I'll be glad I gave it a try.
  

MotoGP Obsession

• My obsession on Valentino Rossi as MotoGP Driver started back when he used to be in 250cc. My weekends used to be filled with watching him racing gracefully on track (in the living room with Abah), where his tacky overtaking skills would always bedazzle me. When every girl's teenage icon was Nick Carter from B2B, mine was (actually still is) Valentino Rossi.

• Below is his statement prior to the anticipated Sepang race on 25th October 2009.

• “I’ll face this weekend with maximum optimism, with energy and trying to win the last two races. Maybe it’s best not to think too much about the situation, or if you do think about it to think in a positive way because that’s the best way.”
  

• The second sentence is very much personally true. =) I'm very excited for tomorrow's race with Hilmi and friends, which will secure him World Champion Title 2009 if he wins! Good Luck Rossi! I'll be wearing your shirt! Watch out for me at K1!

Rock Bottom

When you think you have hit rock bottom, it is ok to cry, but cry with hope that things will get better. They usually do. No matter how honest your intentions are, you can't expect everyone to understand you, because your actions may be interpreted wrongly as people's hearts are full of insecurities. Persevere and be patient..

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Please

• You probably think I lied to you for 8 months.

• You probably think I betrayed you as a bestfriend.

• You probably think how inconsiderate I am to have let you bring me on that trip to Terengganu..

• You probably think that I have hurt you..in many ways you can't even comprehend.

• But have you ever thought about what my justifications on those 3 days we were on the phone?

• Have you ever thought about your words to me..in those 8 months of long hurtful text messages..

• Have you even consider that I did not plan all this to happen..that I did not want this if I can control it..

• Have you ever thought about your faults that hurt me so bad that forced me to change my phone number?

Time has healed my heart..because I am hurt by you too.

So please forgive me too. I miss my bestfriend.

Incomplete

I am going to blog about the many wonders which had happened since I last posted. But, in the mean time, my thoughts are filled with only one person, whom I used to call bestfriend. Although I am still furious about her attitude, I feel like giving her a hug because I know deep down, she is not ok..

I can feel it.

I may be wrong..but it's ok. If she is happy, then I am more than happy for her.

Blissful 22

• I am blessed and lucky to be surrounded with very thoughtful and wonderful souls, like them..
  

Etty the Nigella Lawson of the night

Izzy the Balloon Girl

Tia the Surprise Planner

Faizal the Photographer

Meme, Idzam, Nadri, Joey, Azzif and gf, Harrizs, and Hafiz for coming...

• Thank you for making my 4th September 2009 a memorable one...actually I can't thank you enough. These friends are for keeps.

Speeding towards that time of year

• 
  
  
  Only last week did I realise my 22nd birthday's looming around the corner. It got me reminiscing my birthday last year..and I can't help thinking so much has happened since then.
  

  

• 
  
  
  Life's lessons won't have mercy, but we have to keep in mind that they are all part of Allah's plans. Elina, a dear friend reminded me the other day, and I quote "I believe in happy endings. If we're not happy, then it's not the end". So embrace all challenges and consider them as God's unique way to tell you that He remembers you, because if He doesn't, He will just leave u astray and let you continue making mistakes you've been making. This leads me to another quote from my bestfriend Kamila, "Allah misses you, so He wants you to talk to Him and ask for His guidance".
  

• 
  
  
  On a different note, even though I was clad only with my Telford Hall t-shirt, thank you so so much for those who surprised me on my birthday last year, especially to the person who planned it from afar. I truly appreciate and treasure your effort. These memories make me smile, inside and out.

• May 22 be a good year. Aameen.

Even at 2AM I Will

• My bestfriend, Ili Kamila, wife of Mustaqim, will be flying back to France today to join her husband there. So, since we haven't spent time with each other AT ALL for her break here (unbelievably true for bestfriends), the four of us, Kamila, Dahlia, Fateen, and myself spent her last night in Malaysia at KFC, our childhood hanging out spot (Yes, we are loyal senior citizens o KFC customers who have contributed to KFC's profits since 1997). This time we went to KFC Extreme Park (one of the newest KFCs in Shah Alam).

• The funny part was we decided to meet up at 12am! And surprisingly, all our mothers were ok about it. Even I was surprised with my mum when she let me meet the girls at that time. She even offered me to drive her car because my brother was using my Maddox at that time. We gained mums' trust throughout the years because we've been good girls. True??

• Tired from work, I decided to sleep while waiting 12am. I overshot until 2am! Luckily, the girls were still there. Alhamdulillah...if not, I would miss seeing Kamila for the last time before she comes back next YEAR!

• The thing with bestfriends is we would feel at our most comfortable state regardless of how long we haven't been talking to each other. It is amazing that we can laugh hard, the same way we have been back in childhood and teenage years. The bestfriend effect would always leave us cracking jokes of which we find that we can only crack between the four of us, not ever with other people..at least not me. Tearful and tummy-hurting laughter are inevitable.

• Despite some conflicts amongst some of us, we managed to put them aside and be PERFECT for each other.

Family

Family gatherings are very exciting. They have never failed to cheer me up. This time around it came with a twist. We celebrated the birthdays of August babies, and guess who was the sponsor for the cake! Oui, c'est moi!. Oh boy does it feel so good to know that I earned that money and I have finally gotten the chance to treat everyone, one shot! Alhamdulillah.

It was a warm and welcoming night, as family members arrived and ate heartily. Conversations flowed, laughter filled the room, and pictures were snapped. The family obsession (baby Damia) was running around enjoying being the centre of attention. I found myself sitting still from time to time and just savouring these moments. What a great family I have. My little heart smiled. =)

(Credits for cousin Duan for the wide lens shots! We manage to fit into one picture!)

Sayang

"Sayang" is my favourite malay word. It transpires the warmth of love, because the word itself is very gentle yet deep. When someone calls me sayang, I feel loved, I feel special, and now I am longing for that feeling again. As for my love towards others, when I do call someone Sayang..i spell it letter by letter and rarely use shortform..because it is just such a lovely word and because I want them to actually FEEL how much they mean to me. To me, the shortform "syg" pulls the beauty out of the word because it would look duller, whereas SAYANG.......makes the feeling when you read it with your eyes just different altogether..it races to the heart straight away.. I hope I'm making sense to my readers, if there is any. =]

And as I have accustomed myself to "sayang" for 5 years, I have in some way forgotten how I could be happy and special without him. I cried and cried, I confided in people, felt angry and depressed, and I blamed myself, for losing him and for not trying harder. All this because I thought I've lost sayang..when in fact, sayang (love) was passing me by, not from only one person, but from more than 10 different people. The pictures above describe my life, My Life When I Didn't Notice It. Sayang has now become something MUCH more than before..and hopefully there will be more to come..Ameen.

Pleasant Family Affair

1st August 2009. Suraya Yuhanis is Sophia's sister, who was also my Goosebumps and US magazines supplier in my early teenage years. I would go to their previous house in Subang Permai to borrow and return books and mags because back then, I would not spend my allowance to buy them myself. I looked up to Suraya because I used to think we shared the same interest in accounting and finance, as well as her "wild" side, as compared to her sister, Sophia. (This may be irrelevant now..hehe). Her wedding reception was a feast to the eyes as fresh red roses coloured the banquet. It was similar to what I have imagined my wedding to be; blanketted with fresh flowers. The bold red entrance and pelamin were absolutely Suraya, bold yet stunning.

The bride and groom were sitted next to Datuk K and Siti Nurhaliza. The guests were surprised by Siti Nurhaliza's spontaneity to perform 3 songs at the very last minute, and I'm sure it was a bliss to the wedding couple. My family was sitted quite near to the pelamin, so I could see how beautiful Siti was, not to mention her voice. I am not a big fa n of the Malaysian music scene, but Siti's flawless charm and voice took my breath away. She was so friendly with the audience that everyone felt comfortable with her. She cracked few spontaneous jokes, told the audience of how close the Yunanis' family with her husband and her, and invited a fan to come and sing on stage. She was not just a pretty face, Siti Nurhaliza's modesty and charm were projected on and complimented her physical beauty even further.

And for my family, it was a memorable family affair as we hardly go out together just the four of us nowadays. Abah being Uncle Yuhanis' business partner and friend, me being friends with Sophia, and Abang being friends with Anuar (Sophia's brother), reminded me of valuable friendships, which can extend through different generations. This is just COOL.

A fresh start

I have been writing about all my sad endeavours and spilling out rollercoasters of emotions. It's time for a change, since I haven't been improving, not even an inch. With faith, I want to move forward, thus I have to start seeing positive lights, and ONLY positive lights. I have been wearing a smiling mask and have been covering my sorrows with activities, only to find myself still at status quo, because this blog has worn my insecured emotions, for a guy who has long forgotten who we were. No more. No more. Now I will dedicate this blog as a place for me to engrave good memories and good encounters, so that I'm reminded that my life is more than just tears and sad prayers.