December 11, 2009

Thinking mode

  • I'm overwhelmed with my own thoughts.
  • I wish to do a lot of things at once but I'm no superwoman. There is the worry about my overweight siblings whom I'm dying to get them to go jogging with me. Their addiction to video game and computers are overpowering my power of persuasion. I know scolding them won't work; I need to win them psychologically but I'm clueless.
  • There is my father's wide-range of small businesses which are in need of little more attention - I'm going to start my improvement plan with one of it, but with many other personal plans before the semester starts, will it persist?
  • There is the home decor project of our new home which has been constantly being put on hold due to financial reasons - my expensive tastes is not helping anyone nor do my meticulousness! Money is flowing out like bursting water pipes because of me!
  • There is the upcoming vacation which everyone has been expecting me to plan but have yet to give me final confirmation on participation (Izzy I'm still hoping you can go!)
  • Then there is the worry about the guy in my life now, we fight and I find myself letting him take charge of the relationship - I am no longer the dominant one and I feel suppressed sometimes because dominance has always been my trait. He's protective and positive, while I am always the one who gives up easily. The worry that our soon to be long distance relationship will make me drift away because I just don't believe in long distance relationship anymore. As always, he thinks we can pull through because he's just so positive and self-convincing! Then again, I'm the happiest person after him for the opportunity to further his studies. Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah my prayers for his studies were answered but it means we're going to be apart and the last time that happened to me and a guy, it didn't turn out well.

Oh no.. I'm feeling more overwhelmed now. =/


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